Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Marriage Magic Jelly Bean

Last April 10, 2016, I got married to my boyfriend of 6 years ++.


The age old question people ask, how is married life? is it any different from being boyfriend-girlfriend?


My answer is always no - aside from the fact that I have to maintain our house, do chores, write a different surname and cook meals.

Marriage is not a magic jelly bean that when eaten, suddenly changes your relationship. Marriage will not take away your relationship problems, it will not take away the things your partner does that annoy you. It will most definitely not make your partner surprisingly more responsible than what he was before. On the same note, marriage is not an automatic blind fold that will surprisingly remove his/her desire to flirt, be with other men or girls.


If so, what change does marriage bring?


First, let's define marriage. Marriage in a general sense is the utmost commitment one can publicly do for his or her partner. Marriage is declaring to everyone (including the law) that this is the man or woman I've chosen to be with for the rest of my life. Take note of the word CHOSEN.


Marriage is beautiful, but it does not change your mindset, your view of things or even your decision making. Marriage does not change anything about you - only your civil status.


Reality check. It is you that SHOULD change. Marriage will not MAKE you change, it's just a ceremony, it's YOU that should activate and decide to change.


You should realize that your world does not revolve around just you anymore instead it should revolve around the two of you. You have to always decide to think of your partner in any decision that you will be making whether good or bad. Marriage is the ceremony and you are the mindset changer.


Marriage does not magically make you monogamous or always in love with your partner. You're human, you are you. It is you who has to decide to be monogamous, it is you who has to decide to stay in love with your partner, to stay committed, to be loyal, to be understanding, to work each and every issue out even when you feel like giving up.


Yes, it's a series of decisions that you have to make everyday. The classic reason people give when divorcing or separating is "I fell out of love." Falling out of love translated means you decided to stop loving, you decided to stop making things work, you decided to stop forgiving.


Love is hard work, Marriage is hard work but both reap beautiful things.

Never forget to love and choose to love each other everyday.

xx,
Mel

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